under the stars

one of my best gifts by far

my friend Dave gave me a beautiful tulip wand this evening.   it was perfect for walking around the fair in Pana.   what a lucky girl i am!!!  

how to deal with stress

give yourself pigtails.  it made the day better!

little by little

my first few days back in Guatemala were spent relaxing and catching up with S in Antigua.   we spent four days lounging around, eating tasty food and laughing.   it was a nice way to return to this place i have begun to call home.   i thought things would be a bit more awkward and strained between S and i but they were actually quite chill.   the hardest thing about spending those days with S was knowing that at the end i was returning to the lake without him.   i was coming back to continue my job, and he was traveling on to Belize and Mexico.  

S and my goodbye was one of the hardest goodbyes i have had in a long time.  it was one of those goodbyes where you know you will most likely never see the person again.  not because you don't want to but because it may be too hard.   too hard due to emotions, due to expectations, due to distance.    the difficulty may also have stemmed from the fact that in all honesty i may not have been ready to say goodbye. 

after hugging and kissing goodbye i climbed into a shuttle with complete strangers and was at a loss as what to do next.   i put on my sunglasses and silently cried myself to sleep.   sounds so tragic i know.  

the past two weeks here at the Igauna have been a struggle.   i am missing S, and also missing the freedom of travel.  i am AGAIN in the midst of transition.   i know when Jan/Feb rolls around i will be leaving the Iguana for the next unknown adventure.   my time here has been wonderful.  i have met amazing people.   have had time for personal growth and exploration and am ready for change!  

so...i will enjoy my time here while it lasts but, i am excited for the places to come.  

see ya soon!

me, with 2 days to go

i am spending today packing, prepping, cooking, eating, watching movies, and saying my goodbyes.  

it is almost time to hop on the plane and head back to Santa Cruz, the place i have been calling home for the last 6 months.   another 6 ish months to go and then who knows.  

time to shower and enjoy the amenities of this crazy country for a bit longer. 

Friday

today i woke to the smell of cookies baking.  i had a very soft, and fat, cat curled up next to me.  there were sounds of small children coming from the open window.   i could see blue sky and feel a bit of sun.  

i am off to say hi to new friends and bye to longtime friends.   tonight will be my last day with many of my sweet girlfriends.   my last night of play in Seattle before i slowly begin to return to my life in Guatemala.  

what a wonderful and full month i have had here in the states.  it is amazing how many people and places you can visit in such a short amount of time.   i feel very loved, and hope you all feel loved in return. 

havin' fun!

i am truly enjoying my last few days in the WA before i head back to Guatemala. 

snuggling with H & L.

cooking with mom.

gardening with T. 

laughing with anyone and everyone who is willing.  

taking walks.  riding my bike.   occasionally driving my car.  

might need to go rollerskating once before i head out.  anyone interested?  

a year ago

me before the crazy year long adventure.   i figured i would be back in the states, all settled down again, working and creating a life for myself here.   oh how things don't always go as planned...or maybe they do!

cheeky

if i could be guaranteed my babies would end up this cute i would start having them now!

being

me....at 3

i am having one of those days were i go back and forth from being on the verge of tears to feeling full of laughter.   i think the fact that i got very little sleep last night is playing a huge factor.  that and having too many intense and frustrating long distance phone calls with someone i care about.  

i have decided to allow myself to feel whatever i need to feel today.  i am embracing this gloomy day by doing all those inside things you put off.  i am scanning old photos, cooking, taking it slow, sipping tea, smiling, sorting through old things, catching up on letters and emails and being present.  

a day without plans.  a day just for me.