my first few days back in Guatemala were spent relaxing and catching up with S in Antigua. we spent four days lounging around, eating tasty food and laughing. it was a nice way to return to this place i have begun to call home. i thought things would be a bit more awkward and strained between S and i but they were actually quite chill. the hardest thing about spending those days with S was knowing that at the end i was returning to the lake without him. i was coming back to continue my job, and he was traveling on to Belize and Mexico.
S and my goodbye was one of the hardest goodbyes i have had in a long time. it was one of those goodbyes where you know you will most likely never see the person again. not because you don't want to but because it may be too hard. too hard due to emotions, due to expectations, due to distance. the difficulty may also have stemmed from the fact that in all honesty i may not have been ready to say goodbye.
after hugging and kissing goodbye i climbed into a shuttle with complete strangers and was at a loss as what to do next. i put on my sunglasses and silently cried myself to sleep. sounds so tragic i know.
the past two weeks here at the Igauna have been a struggle. i am missing S, and also missing the freedom of travel. i am AGAIN in the midst of transition. i know when Jan/Feb rolls around i will be leaving the Iguana for the next unknown adventure. my time here has been wonderful. i have met amazing people. have had time for personal growth and exploration and am ready for change!
so...i will enjoy my time here while it lasts but, i am excited for the places to come.